☕ HUMAN.EXE NEEDS COFFEE Hoodie • Insert Coffee to Respawn Gamer Hoodie • Morning Boot Sequence Pixel Sweatshirt • Cozy Retro Gamer Gift

WHEN YOUR BRAIN IS ON 12% BUT THE WORLD EXPECTS 100%

Same HUMAN.EXE NEEDS COFFEE design as the tee, upgraded to a cozy hoodie for cold offices, late-night sessions, and caffeine-dependent mornings. Throw the hood up, let the front announce your status, and let the back explain your required input.

Front design

Large neon text: HUMAN.EXE NEEDS COFFEE

Pixel coffee mug with steam + low-battery icon

Subline: INSERT COFFEE TO RESPAWN

Back design

Header: MORNING BOOT SEQUENCE

System diagnostics:

WAKE-UP PROGRESS........... 12%

CAFFEINE IN SYSTEM......... 00%

SOCIAL FILTER.............. OFFLINE

SARCASM PROTECTION......... DISABLED

REQUIRED INPUT:

☑ ONE CUP OF COFFEE

☑ FIVE MINUTES SILENCE

☐ TALKING (LOCKED)

Footer warning:

WARNING: DO NOT FEED MEETING INVITES BEFORE INITIAL COFFEE PATCH.

It’s basically your “do not disturb” sign in hoodie form.

Why this hoodie hits different (Gildan 18500)

8.0 oz medium-heavy blend — warm and cozy without being bulky

50/50 cotton–poly — soft feel with real durability

Double-lined hood + matching drawcord for extra comfort

Kangaroo pocket — for your phone, snacks, or backup coffee cash

Tear-away label — no scratchy tags

Ethically made with OEKO-TEX® certified dyes — kinder to your skin and the planet

Perfect for:
Coffee-first humans, introvert gamers, remote workers, coders on early stand-ups, and anyone whose real morning HUD reads “caffeine in system: 0%.”