HUMAN.EXE Needs Water Hoodie – Hydration Quest Gamer Sweatshirt (Front & Back Print)

HUMAN.EXE Needs Water Hoodie – Hydration Quest Gamer Sweatshirt (Front & Back Print)

If your daily stats read “three coffees, one sad glass of water, mysterious headache,” this hoodie was made for you. It turns staying hydrated into a literal quest, calling out HUMAN.EXE NEEDS WATER on the front so your crew—and maybe you—remember to refill something other than your mug. It’s cozy, funny, and uncomfortably accurate.

Front Design
- Big text: HUMAN.EXE NEEDS WATER
- Underline / subline: HYDRATION QUEST — NOT OPTIONAL
- Visuals: pixel heart or half-empty hydration bar, plus a tiny water droplet or mana-potion icon

Back Design
- Header: HYDRATION STATUS — REAL LIFE DLC
- Status lines:
  - WATER TODAY................ 01 GLASS
  - COFFEE COUNT............... 03 CUPS
  - HEADACHE CHANCE............ +25%
  - FOCUS BONUS................ LOCKED
- Subheader: UNLOCK BONUS:
  - ☑ REFILL BOTTLE
  - ☑ TAKE 10 STEPS
  - ☑ SIP BETWEEN MATCHES
- Tiny footer (easter egg):
  - PRO TIP: YOU CAN’T PATCH DEHYDRATION WITH MORE COFFEE.

Why this hoodie hits different
- Perfect for gamers, coders, students, and office goblins who are always “one sip away” from feeling better
- Front-and-back print that turns hydration into a real-life status screen
- Great cozy gift for retro gamers, streamers, and anyone who lives on coffee but is trying to do better

Hoodie details (Gildan 18500)
- 8.0 oz medium-heavy blend — warm and soft for cooler days
- 50/50 cotton–poly — comfy, durable, and holds the print well
- Double-lined hood with matching drawcord
- Kangaroo pocket — ideal for snacks, shaker bottle, or phone
- Tear-away label — zero irritation at the neck
- Ethically made with OEKO-TEX certified dyes

⚠️ MADE-TO-ORDER & PRODUCTION TIMES

All apparel is made to order especially for you as soon as the purchase is complete.

• Production Time: Approximately 3–5 business days.

• Shipping Time (USA/Canada): Approximately 5–7 business days.

Estimated Delivery: Please expect to receive your purchase within 2–4 weeks (barring postal strikes or unexpected carrier delays).